Christina Grimmie was one of the first YouTubers that I ever watched and like everyone when I heard the news of her death I was shocked; so sudden and it seemed so unfair. I can’t even begin to imagine what it has been like for her close friends and family, when it’s bad enough coming at it from the angle of essentially a stranger.
With the subsequent events transpiring around the world it seems so easy to lose hope but I’ve been challenged recently to bring it all back to God, and hence this song was born.
Where is God?
For me, I found it more difficult to hold onto truths about God’s love and character after hearing about these events. At first I tried to ignore it, but eventually realised that I needed to sit down and confront these feelings head on.
God was kind to me and I felt him gently reminding me that the scenario we are facing is not this one:
Bad things happen. People hurt. God laughs.
Nor even, is it this one:
Bad things happen. People hurt. God ignores it and carries on with his existence.
But it is in fact, this one:
Bad things happen. People hurt. God hurts even more and weeps at the pain in the world with us.
At the funeral of his friend, Jesus (AKA God himself!) acted in what can seem like the most un-God-like way; Jesus wept. (John 11v35.)
I was also reminded of the end of the story of Jonah in the Bible. In particular, the part where God points out to Jonah that since he is so involved in everything that’s going on in the world, of course he cares deeply about the city where Jonah was called.
We cannot possibly understand everything, BUT we can know that whatever happens God is present in every situation and he hurts far more than we ever will when evil presents itself in the world.
Christina knew this God, and that is why this song I have written not one of despair, but one of hope.
“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’” (John 14v6.)
God, I don’t understand what all this is about. Making plans to understand, while this world just falls apart. God, I can’t see the humanity in pictures on the screen. No share and care, just break and bruise, shaping up to live and lose.
This is an ode to her. She would have loved your people to sing praise to you, Father, for you are everything. I know you’ve got her- your darling daughter- heaven must be filled with laughter as I sing this ode to her.
God, I know your heart breaks whenever silence shatters grace. Tears fall down to the sound of a world where evil’s found. God, you say that you’ll repay; wipe away our tears someday. Justice and mercy, tie up the story, grace unleashed to bring you glory.
It seems this world’s in mourning. Longing for an end to this story… And for once I heed the warning; help me leave this world with something more.
This is an ode to her. She would have loved your people to sing praise to you, Father, for you are everything. I know it hurts you- that’s how I trust you- heart breaks more than any ought to as I sing this ode to her.